Poker Lessons from a Jeep

I've been playing poker for a little less than 2 years. I've been CONSISTENTLY making a profit playing poker for a little less than 6 months. I actually made money playing in 2005, but I was up and down a lot; very streaky, and much of the time I couldn't put my finger on why.

I've been very focused on learning this game from the ground up since I began playing; drilling and drilling on fundamental concepts until they become second nature, then moving on to another concept in a progression of learning I laid out early-on. So far, this has been a successful strategy, I've seen steady, incremental improvement in my game as I've learned the fundamentals. Every now and then, however, I'll make a "Quantum Leap"; an explosive jump in my understanding of some facet of the game and therefore my profitability. I made one of those leaps about six months ago. I believe it's the primary reason for the successful run I've been on ever since, and I owe it all to my pal Jeep.

Jeep (a nickname for George P; initials G.P.; hence, Jeep.) is a GREAT guy. About 55, he recently sold his successful business and retired early to, as he puts it: "have fun while I'm still young enough to have fun". One of the ways Jeep has fun is to play poker; specifically, to play poker and hit impossible draws against all odds, making players gnash their teeth and rage to the heavens. You regularly see Jeep sitting at the 4-8 table, laughing, talking, drawing out on people; just having a great time. He's one of the nicest, friendliest people you'll ever meet. You simply cannot sit at a poker table with Jeep and not have a good time .... until you get in a hand with him and are stupid enough to catch top pair and try to bet him out: it ain't gonna happen. Jeep LOVES the action. He also LOVES it when people get mad at him for drawing out on them. He never shows anything but good sportsmanship and class when he's at the table; he never taunts players or rubs it in, but it's also clear that he gets a HUGE kick out of beating players who play poker "right".

One night, back in December, Jeep was having a GREAT night. In pretty short order, he caught two or three inside straights on me, a runner-runner flush or two, trips on the river from bottom pair on the flop, and various and sundry other assorted draws, suck-outs and bad beats. Never one to let something as inconsequential as a paired board, 4-to-a-straight and 4-of-a-suit on a board slow him down when he has an overcard, Jeep was in his element, merrily crushing me into the dirt. The piece' de resistance' was when my pocket Jacks saw a flop of:

Jh 8s 5d

Jeep bet out on the flop, I raised him with my top set. He instantly called. A 3 came on the turn. Jeep checked, I bet, and he hit me with the CHECK-AND-RAISE! Holy shit! No flush possible, no straight possible, JEEP, I HAVE YOU NOW! I raise him back, he comes back at me. We raise each other several more times. Finally, Jeep just calls.

On the river, another 3 falls. I have top full house! Sensing trouble (I think), Jeep checks to me. I bet, and he CHECK-RAISES me AGAIN! I stop and look at the board. Jeep is crazy on draws, but he's not a manic bettor. Going back over the hand and the confidence with which he's played it, I decide he may have 88 or 55; a lower full house than mine. The only hand that beats me is 33. Surely he wouldn't have bet out with 33 on the flop; there were 3 overcards. Even if he had bet out, would even Jeep call my raise with 33? I decide he wouldn't and raise him back. He instantly comes over the top. I fire right back. Again, Jeep fires back, again, I respond in kind. When he instantly comes back over the top yet again, I can't help but notice the absolute glee with which he does it. Jeep is in ectasy! Finally, realization dawns. Jeep has the nuts, I'm screwed. I resignedly call his last raise and turn up my Jacks. Jeep jumps out of his chair and slaps his 33 on the table, his familiar, exhultant cry of "Ship it!" echoing across the casino as he rakes in the massive pile of chips with both hands, crowing with pure, unadulterated joy.

Summoning every ounce of willpower (and class) that I have, I manage to croak out "Nice hand" from between jaw-breakingly clenched teeth. I can literally feel them grinding as my pulse pounds audibly in my ears. I don't say a single word for the next two hours. Not one word. I pride myself on NEVER criticizing or berating players when they draw out on me. Inside, though, I am screaming; RAGING at Jeep. "HOW CAN YOU CONSTANTLY SUCK OUT ON ME???" "WHY WON'T YOU FOLD???" "DIE! DIE! DIE!" "ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!", but, on the outside, I present a calm exterior. My control, however, is marginal. I honestly fear that if I open my mouth at all, the things I'm screaming inside will come out, so I keep it tightly shut. I honestly can't remember the last time I stayed so angry for so long. I am so mad I actually have to fight back tears! Several times, I literally find myself light-headed. I keep my hands folded in front of me because the urge to pound my clenched fists on the table is absolutely overwhelming.

Over time, the rage subsides. You just can't stay mad at Jeep. Like a force of nature, Jeep just IS; there's no malice, no bad intentions. Hurricane Katrina wiped out the Gulf Coast, and Jeep wiped out me. It just happened, and there's nothing you can do about it but evacuate; so I did.

On the way home, I had an insight. I've seen Jeep with mountains of chips in front of him so high he needed a periscope to see the flop. When he was losing, I've seen Jeep dig into his wallet more often than Haliburton submits fraudulant invoices for Iraqi reconstruction. One thing I've never seen, however, is Jeep not having fun. Win or lose, Jeep is the life of the table. He plays poker for enjoyment, and he enjoys himself, no matter what. It made me think a lot about the game and why I play it.

As I chewed on that over the next day or so, I thought of another player who used to come in the casino. I can't remember his name, but he is essentially the anti-Jeep. A guy of around 60, he'd play in the 2-5 and 5-10 no limit games pretty much every day. The thing about him that stood out from the start to me was that he was ALWAYS mad. I can't remember a single time when I dealt to him that he didn't angrily slap his cards into the muck every single time he folded, his outrage that he didn't get playable cards clearly evident. God help you when he took a flop and was bet off of it by another player; his glare making it evident that it was the dealer's fault for his not winning the hand. When he won a hand, it was no respite at all, and Lord, what happened when he took any type of bad beat.

He was eventually barred from the casino. He was in a hand with a very Jeep-like character, a guy who was there to have fun and liked to draw, regardless of the odds, who drew out on him on the river. The dealer accidentally pushed the pot to Anti-Jeep, rather than the guy who'd sucked out on him, and he refused to give it back! Despite over an hour's cajoling from the floor, he simply would not to give it up. Finally, the poker room manager had the casino pay the guy who'd won the pot his money, and barred Anti-Jeep from the casino until he paid it back. It's been over 6 months, and he still hasn't done it.

The thing I took from that was simple. Why?

Why do something that makes you so mad? People play poker for enjoyment. If you get so miserable playing, why subject yourself to it? Anti-Jeep was an extreme example, but I see people playing mad all the time. Again, the question seems so simple. Why spend so much time doing something, ostensibly for fun and recreation, when it makes you so frustrated and angry? Even if you're playing for all or a significant part of your living, why do something that makes you so miserable? Surely, you can find a way to earn a living that doesn't suck your sould out.

One of the graveyard floor guys, Mike, is someone I respect a lot. He's been in the poker business for a long time, and really knows his shit. I remembered that he played for a living for a time, and talked to him about what I was thinking about, asking for his thoughts.

"I always looked at it like I was killing snakes." was Mike's response.

What???

Mike's take was essentially that he was earning his living on that poker table, and he took it VERY seriously. In order to make sure he always went for the kill, he avoided interacting with other players; instead, remaining silent and focused at the table, not engaging in any extraneous conversation. He was there to win their money, and that was that. If they chose to sit down at the table with him, whatever happened next was their problem, not his.

That took me back a bit, but, as I was thinking about it later, I remembered another story Mike had told me. He went into a convenience store one night, paying the cashier with a ten-dollar bill. The cashier mistakenly gave him change for a twenty, and Mike, who knew she was making a mistake, took the incorrect change and left the store with it. As he was driving home, at first laughing at his good fortune, it occurred to Mike that the cashier would probably have to pay for the cash register shortage. It appalled him that he had so lost the character ideals he'd lived by all his life that he'd not only taken the money without saying a word, but laughed about it afterwards, as well. Mike turned around and went back to the store, admitted to the cashier that he'd known he was taking the money when he shouldn't have, apologized profusely, and paid her back. Right then and there, Mike decided he didn't like what playing poker for a living did to him and went out the very next day and got a job.

I admire Mike for the decision he made to change his life, but I wonder if he would've needed to make that decision if he'd approached the game a little differently. I think my perspective here is a little unique. 20-some years ago, I was lucky enough to be able to turn a hobby into a career. What a blessing! I worked a ton of hours, but, when what you do for a living is also what you love, that's no sacrifice at all. One day, however, I turned around, and all the passion for what I did was gone. Suddenly, all the hours it took for me to practice my craft at the level of success I was accustomed to were just too many. Once I came to that realization, the future looked dull and dreary; one I had no desire to continue. After thinking about it long and hard, I decided to walk away, with absolutely no idea what I was going to do. Scary.

I was lucky enough to find another passion; poker. I've been doubly-lucky to be able to make a living with that passion; dealing, and playing. The lesson I learned from the last time I turned a passion into a living, then lost that passion, is that you have to treasure it. Like so many other things in life, something taken for granted is most often something lost. My old life turned into "killing snakes", there's no way I'm going to let it happen again.

After quite a bit of mulling them over, these three things; Jeep, Anti-Jeep, and Mike's "killing snakes" all came together to make me decide to make a major change in the way I approach this game. I decided that, no matter what else, I was going to have fun. There is just no way I am going to spend hours and hours sitting at a poker table if it doesn't bring me joy. Think about it; if every time you kissed your significant other on the neck as a prelude to "something else", they whipped out a ball peen hammer and smashed you in the face, how long would it take you to figure out that kissing your signifcant other on the neck as a prelude to "something else" leads to pain, and not whoopie? It doesn't get much more Pavlovian than that, yet so many poker players keep coming back time and again, despite the fact that they are constantly miserable at the table.

I've learned a good bit of the math associated with this game, I know that suck outs and bad beats are an inevitable part of it. I also intellectually know that I WANT people to draw at me against the odds; long term, I make money against them and players like them, regardless of what happens in the current hand. That knowledge does little to take the sting out of getting sucked out on. Looking at it globally, however, does. Being successful at poker isn't about winning pots, or even winning sessions; it's about making money in the long run. Taking life-satisfaction from the game is the same; this hand, this session don't matter, all things pass, both good and bad.

Right around the first of the year, I made a conscious decision to never forget that the primary reason I play poker is that I enjoy it, and to not allow things to spoil that enjoyment for me. I decided to take Jeep's approach of having fun, no matter what. Now, that doesn't mean I play like Jeep, I don't. I haven't changed the way I play at all, except that, by changing my OUTLOOK on the game, I leave myself in a position to play the game to the best of my abilities more of the time.

While I used to take a lot of pride in the fact that I never berated players for their bad play, what I didn't understand was that it didn't mean anything beyond basic courtesy. Whether I choked back my anger and said nothing, or whether I choked the life out of fool who just hit an impossible draw on me, the effect on my decision-making was virtually the same. The 170th Rule of Aquisition says: "POKER IS A BRAIN GAME"; it's all about decisions. The only way to make good decisions is to do so logically and analytically; intellectually, rather than emotionally. You simply cannot do that when you're angry.

Since changing my outlook on the game, I believe I am making my best decisions a greater percentage of the time. Being successful at this game isn't just what you know, it's how much of the time you can bring the greatest amount of what you know to bear on the decision at hand. I still get drawn out on, but, by remembering why I'm there playing in the first place, it makes it easier to laugh at the irony and unliklihood of it, rather than imagining myself stabbing the moron in the eye with an icepick.

There's a whole' nother level to this, the thinking I've done here has lead me to much more thinking, and, I believe, even greater realizations. I'll leave them for another post. At the moment, I have something of much greater import to ponder. You see, today, I saw Jeep sitting at a 1-2 no limit table.

"Jeep!", I said, "What are you doing here? You're a limit player!"

"I got tired of limit", was the reply, "here, you can bet people off a draw".

Stunned, I couldn't think of anything to say. Jeep, playing no limit. I shudder at the implications.

I'd love to date Anna Kournikova, but I sure don't want to marry her.

Everyone's heard the joke; the new nickname for AK is Anna Kournikova; looks good, but never wins.

Every time I hear it, I laugh along with everyone else, but I don't agree. AK (and JJ) are probably the most complained about hands in poker, but, I believe the problem isn't the cards, it's the way people play them. You wait and wait to get AK, folding and folding lesser hands. When you finally get it, you're SUPPOSED to win, for Christ's sake! And therein lies the problem.

With AK (or any other two unsuited cards), the odds are 2.08:1 AGAINST your pairing up on the flop. Think about that for a minute. That means 2 times out of 3, you aren't going to catch anything on the flop with your "monster" AK. That sucks. Here's something else that sucks. Your AKs is the best unpaired hand in poker. It's the 4th-best (or 5th, depending on who you believe) hand overall. 72 offsuit is the worst opening hand in poker. Of the 169 possible starting hands, it is dead last, number 169. In a heads-up, all-in confrontation, however, AKs is only a 1.5:1 favorite over 72 offsuit. That means 72 offsuit will beat AKs 2 times out of 5!

So, the flop has missed your AKs, and the player on your right bets into you; what to do now? The answer is simple; fold, or raise. Many players will call here because, if the flop misses them, they have 2 overcards; if they catch one, they'll have top pair.

There are a few problems with that, though. First, with two overcards, you have 6 outs; three Aces and 3 Kings left in the deck. The odds of your catching an Ace or a King on the turn are 7:1 against; you're going to catch that overcard 1 time in 8. Not very good odds. You'll sometimes be getting pot odds of 7:1 in a limit game, but very seldom in a no limit game.

But wait, there's another problem. You can catch one of your overcards and still lose the hand. In a number of incidences where you draw to that overcard, you're going to find you're drawing against 2 pair or a set. In other incidences, you'll be up against straight and/or flush draws where your overcard will make their hand as well, and yet more incidences where you'll hit your card on one of the two remaining cards, but they'll hit their draw on the other. Because of this, even when you are getting the correct pot odds of 7:1, the EV (Expected Value; your earnings in occurrences of this situation, over time, after you factor in the losses when you've made your hand, but still lose) just isn't there.

"Hold on there, Cowboy", some will say, "I saw on the World Poker Tour where hitting an Ace or a King after the flop was 26%. 26% is 3:1, not 7:1.

Right! You've just hit on one of the most expensive misconceptions in poker. From the flop, the odds are 7:1 against your catching a card on the turn, but they're only 3:1 against your catching one (or more) on the turn OR on the river. Here's the problem with that. Let's say you're in a hand with AK, and the flop misses you. There's 100.00 in the pot, and the player in front of you bets 40.00. The pot is now laying you 140.00 to your 40.00 call (3.5:1). Now, you know the odds of pairing one of your cards on the turn or on the river are 3:1 against, and the pot is laying you slightly better than 3:1, so you make the call.

Here's the catch. The turn misses you, and the player in front of you bets 100.00. The pot is now laying you 240.00 (you can't count your 40.00 call on the turn as part of the prize when you gave yourself odds over two cards from the flop, another common error) to your 100.00 call. that's 2.4:1, and your odds of catching your Ace or King on the river are 7:1 against. Clearly, you don't have odds to call here, but, the truth is, you didn't have odds to call on the turn, either. Giving yourself odds over two cards when you may be facing further bets on the river is a sucker play; with YOU being the sucker.

From the flop, the ONLY way you can use the odds over two cards is if you can be ABSOLUTELY sure there will be no additional betting on the next round. The ONLY way you can be that sure of that is if either you or the other player will be all-in on the flop. If there's no all-in, you MUST use the odds over 1 card, not 2.

Ok, so you're probably not getting odds to call, and, even when you are, you may not be drawing to a winner, so the best move is to fold, right? Possibly. As I said earlier, you should either fold, or raise; never call.

"Raise?"

Listen, sizzlechest, we're playing poker here, not "To Tell The Truth". If you only bet or raise when you have the nuts, you're not going to lose too many hands, but you're not going to win many, either. The math is an absolutely fundamental, inescapable element of this game, but, when you cut to the chase, you're playing a game of chicken with the other players at the table. Unless you call every single bet or raise to you, you can be absolutely sure you're REGULARLY folding the best hand. If you don't do the same to your opponents every now and then, you'll never make any money at this game.

In this case, by raising, you've at least got a "Plan B"; maybe you'll catch an Ace or a King, and maybe that'll beat what they're holding. Raising, though, is something you should do only in very special circumstances, when you either think the bettor may be bluffing himself (or herself) or may be able to be scared off the hand. Otherwise, you should fold. The 178th Rule of Aquisition clearly states "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO CUT YOUR LOSSES".

Sometimes, though, you can hit with your AK on the flop and still be clobbered. Here's an example of how I misplayed the hell out of AK.

I'm playing in a 50.00, 180 player SNG on Pokerstars. It's early in the tournament and I have yet to play a hand. I'm under-the-gun and am dealt:

Ad Kd

Great hand, crummy position, but this is one of the four hands I recommend even the most conservative players play from early position. I don't get cute; I make my standard raise of 3x the big blind.

The player immediately to the right of me makes a minimum raise back at me. It folds around to me. Now, one of the reasons players hate AK so much, in my opinion, is that they overplay the hand preflop; re-raising in this situation, possibly going all-in. If it doesn't pair up or make a flush or straight, however, a pair of deuces beats AK. I'm not short-stacked, and neither is my opponent, so I just call the raise and take a flop, which comes:

Ah Js Jc

Now, my opponent re-raised me from early position, so I have to put him on a legitimate hand, but, I've got top pair/top kicker and, unless he re-raised me with AJ (something I don't think is very likely), JJ (possible, but not likely), or AA (very possible), I'm ahead in this hand. The only way to find out is to bet at him. If I check, KK (a likely hand for him to have), QQ (another likely hand) , or AQ (less likely) will probably bet and put me to a difficult decision. I always prefer to take the initiative in a hand, so I bet the pot. He immediately raises me, but again, only the minimum.

I stop and think for a minute. If he had JJ and I was betting into him, why would he raise me? I'd think he'd want to walk the dog on me and see if I'd bet into him on the turn. Same thing if he had AA. If he held that, he'd flopped a full house; and the best full house at that! The only hand that could beat him here would be JJ, why not slow-play it a bit and hope I'd either keep betting into him or catch up a bit? I decided he was either playing KK or QQ very aggressively, or he and I both had AK. I re-raised him, going all-in. Of course, he had AA and busted me.

Now, I hear bad beat stories like this in the casino all the time. People universally attribute them to bad luck, saying things like: "How could you possibly lay AK down there?" The truth is, more often than not, it's not luck, and laying AK down in that situation should be difficult, but far from impossible. In this case, for example, there were several warning signs that should have allowed me to get away from the hand. By betting the pot after the flop (versus just going all-in), I was asking a question: "Can you beat me?" He gave me the answer, I just stupidly decided to ignore it. The tournament had been going on only a few minutes, so I had no read on the player I was in the hand with. In the absence of that, however, there are some "more often than not" rules which apply.

For example, there's the 129th Rule of Aquisition: MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THE EARLIER THE RAISE, THE BIGGER THE HAND. In the absence of evidence to the contrary, you have to give an opponent credit for understanding position. I was under-the-gun, he was right next to me, in terrible position himself. I had to put him on a pretty strong hand.

Here's another one; the 138th Rule of Aquisition: MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, SMALL RAISES MEAN A BIG HAND. He made a minimum re-raise back at me before the flop. The re-raise itself indicated strength, the range of hands I could put him on was pretty small; AA, KK, QQ, AK, maybe JJ or AQ with a weaker player. The fact that it was a MINIMUM re-raise should have narrowed that range of hands even further, At least eliminating AQ, and probably JJ as well.

After the flop, he raised me AGAIN! That flop either helped him, or he had no fear of it. Since he couldn't have an overpair to the flop, the only choice left was that it hit him. If that flop hit him, the only way I wasn't screwed was if he had AQ, where I'd beat him, or AK, where we'd split. Any other way the flop could have hit him left me WAY behind; in most cases, drawing dead. The fact that he made a SECOND minimum raise should have instantly made me think that he WANTED a call. Yes, he could have been a weak player misplaying an underpair or a weaker Ace, but, in the absence of information to the contrary, the smart way to look at your opponents is always to give them more credit than they deserve, not less.

Yes, he actually did misplay the hand. Raising on that flop was dumb, he should have laid in the weeds with it, flat calling me all the way down. Fortunately for him (and unfortunately for me), he was dumb, but I was dumber, and that's why I found myself drawing dead with a top 5 opening hand on the first hand I played in the tournament.

And there lies the most important lesson. The tournament had just started. I had a ton of chips in front of me, the blinds were low and I had lots of time to play good poker. Early in a tournament, the most important thing to do is SURVIVE! I'd avoided the mistake of overplaying my AK before the flop, but after the flop, AA, JJ, or ANY Jack had me beat. The SMART move was to cut my losses when he raised my postflop bet and fold; to SURVIVE.

I dated Anna Kournikova before the flop, but I married her after, and she broke my heart.

That's the difference between a GREAT poker player and an average one; the ability to make the BIG laydown. As Phil Helmuth said recently: "I can dodge bullets, baby".

Too bad I can't.


(yet)

The 339th Rule of Aquisition: WHAT YOU DON'T PLAY CAN'T HURT YOU

Before I found poker, I spent close to 20 years in radio; most as a program director. By far, the most important part of my job as a program director was choosing the music to play on the radio station; it makes or breaks you. On any given week, there would be over 100 new songs to choose from as potential additions to the playlist. Bad choices there meant bad ratings.

The thing is, of those 100+ songs being actively promoted each week, I was only going to choose two or three, max, for airplay. This philosophy always worked well for me, I enjoyed strong ratings throughout my career. It drove people in the record business crazy, however, as radio airplay is critical to the success of a new release. It also drove many of the people who worked for me crazy, too. People on the staff would sometimes get pretty frustrated when we didn't play songs that so many other stations around the country were playing. I would respond with two quotes: "It'll always be there next week" and:

"What you don't play can't hurt you".

Since I began playing poker, I've noticed time and again how much of my programming philosophy for radio translated to poker; discipline, focus, preparation, etc. I saw the correlation to my "What you don't play can't hurt you" motto early on as well. While there are many styles of playing the game, I initially gravitated towards "Tight/Aggressive", and "What you don't play can't hurt" you simply meant not playing non-premium hands; instead, waiting for good starting hands and betting the hell out of them when they hit.

Lately, however, that saying has assumed a new meaning. Soon after beginning to play poker, I came across a critical concept;

"In this game, your profit is in your folds"

Pretty simple, on it's face. Making bad calls costs you money, so there goes your profit. I saw that, however, as something that happened later in hands, when I'm faced with big decisions. What I didn't understand at the time, though, is that many of those hands where I found myself facing those tough decisions were hands I shouldn't have been playing in the first place.

Virtually all of the increase in profitability I've enjoyed lately has come from improving my understanding of position; playing my position more effectively, being aware of opponents' position and factoring that into their actions in the hand, and, most importantly, having the discipline not to play hands from early position. This improved understanding has caused me (for the most part) to avoid "trouble hands" from early position that seem powerful at first glance, but are, incredibly dangerous when played out of position. Hands I'd RAISE with in late position, KQ, KJ QT, even AQ can be deadly when played from early position. How? Let me give you a few very painful (and expensive) examples:

When you're faced with playing a fairly strong hand from out of position, you face a dilemma. If you raise with it, better hands will often just call you, so you have no idea what they may be holding. Here's an example that still smarts:

I'm playing 1-2 No-Limit. I bought in for 200.00, I've been playing for around three hours and I'm up to around 350.00. I'm under-the-gun, look down and see:

Ah Qd

Wow! Pretty strong hand! I raise to 12.00. It folds around to the button, who calls. The blinds fold and the flop comes:

Ac Th 6s

Perfect flop for me (I think)! I've made top pair with 2nd-best kicker, and there are no flush or open-ended straight draws possible. With 28.00 in the pot, I bet 20.00. The guy on the button just calls. Hmmmmm. This guy is a bit of a calling station, often calling preflop raises with marginal hands, and he gets stubborn if he catches any piece of the flop. He could well be in here with a weaker Ace or a Ten.

The turn comes a blank. I decide to take this damn thing down right now and bet 100.00 into a 68.00 pot. I figure the visual of my silently sliding that stack of red birds past the line will knock some sense into him. He immediately calls. So much for that plan.

The river comes a blank. Sensing I'm in trouble, I check, deciding I will fold to any bet he makes larger than 40.00. He checks as well and turns up As Ks. "Nice hand", I say, mentally kicking myself for playing that hand out of position.

Now, truth-be-told, I would probably have lost money if the situation had been reversed, with him under-the-gun with AKs and me on the button with AQ. The difference is that he would have raised preflop and I would have had to call any reasonable raise with AQ. If he followed his pattern, He would have bet about 15.00 on the flop, and I would have raised him to 45.00 or so to find out where I was in the hand. He would not have re-raised me, he's a caller, not a raiser, and, when he called, I would've probably sensed I might be in trouble. He would have checked on the turn, and so would I, I know when I'm beat. He wouldn't have bet the river, and neither would I.

Out of position, it cost me 132.00 to find out I was beat. In position, if he'd made the same preflop raise as I did, I could've gotten to showdown for around 57.00. That's about a 75.00 difference. MORE IMPORTANTLY, If I'd had enough discipline, I would've folded the damn thing before the flop because of the crummy position and not lost a single dime.

It's this simple:

WHAT YOU DON'T PLAY CAN'T HURT YOU!

"WHAT?" "Fold AQ?" "Are you nuts?"

Yeah, the truth is, it's pretty damn hard to fold hands like AQ just because you're out of position, but hands like KQ, KJ, AT, etc., should be AUTOMATIC folds from early position. Automatic. No thought whatsoever. No pain; no emotional struggle; fold, fold, fold.

"But wait a minute", some might say, "you can always limp with those hands to "find the power". If someone raises, you can then decide whether your hand is worth a call."

Sigh .... Let me give you another recent example:

I'm playing 1-2 No-Limit with my usual 200.00 buy-in. We have just opened the table and this is the first hand. I'm under the gun, look down and see:

Kh Qh

Ahhhh crap. I hate this hand in this position, I have no read on any of these players, it's the first freakin' hand, and the 213th Rule of Aquisition says: "FOLDING IS ALWAYS FREE", I'm just going to fol...................

"Call" Bad Sean says from out of nowhere before I can stop him. Damn it! Now I have to throw 2 bucks in the pot. Verbal declarations in-turn are binding, and no one's going to buy the "evil alter-ego" excuse. Two other players call, the big blind checks, and the flop comes:

Ks 7c 4s

Hey, maybe Bad Sean wasn't so wrong. No one raised, so, if there's another King in the hand, I can feel pretty good about my kicker. I bet 10.00 into a 9.00 pot; don't want to make it cheap for 65 or two spades to draw at me.

The player to my immediate right calls, everyone else folds. Hmmmmm. He was in early position, too, and didn't raise. Maybe he's on a flush draw. The turn comes:

Ks 7c 4s 9h

Good turn, it was a blank for all possible draws, but I don't like the way he's looking at that board. According to Mike Caro, when people are on a draw, they tend to study the board for a time, trying to figure out what it'll take to make their hand and if they picked up any more outs. When someone has a made hand, they tend to just glance at the board, then look away quickly. He didn't look at that turn for long, and, come to think of it, he didn't look at the board for very long on the flop; and he sure didn't think long before calling my bet on the flop.

I consider checking to just let the river fall. If it's not a spade, an 8, or a 3, I can be pretty sure no draws hit, but, I don't give free cards and, since I'm out of position in this hand, if I check, he can bet and take the initiative away from me. I'm an initiative kind of guy, so I bet 20.00 into a 29.00 pot. He quickly calls. Damn it!

The river comes a blank. There's 69.00 in the pot, so I bet 35.00. He calls and turns up:

7h 4h

He flopped two pair! Arrggghhhhh. There was a nice 67.00 lesson in position.

Those two lessons demonstrate why playing any but the absolute best hands from early position can be disasterous. If you raise, better hands than yours, and, worse yet, hands that DOMINATE you are just going to call; you'll have no idea where you stand. If you limp to "find the power", you risk letting all kinds of junk hands limp in if no one else raises. It's a lose/lose situation.

And that brings us back to the subject of this diatribe; what you don't play can't hurt you. When you consider all of the potential negatives of playing hands from early position, then factor in the fact that when you hold unpaired cards, two flops out of three are going to miss you completely, anyway, it just doesn't make sense to play any but the best hands from early position. When it comes to position and that old saying "your profit is in your folds", that "fold profit" is about having the discipline to fold those trouble hands in the first place, not after you've dumped money into the pot.

I tell my students every week that if they fold everything but AA, KK, QQ and AKs from the first three positions, they'll make more money from those positions over their lifetimes than if they play more hands. While I absolutely believe in that concept, anyone who had the discipline to actually do that would be one very boring son of a bitch, indeed. I'm just hoping I can scare them enough to plant the seed, so they'll remember that lesson when they do cheat (as everyone will) and they take the inevitable beatings.

As far as me and my play? I'm pretty much out of the KQ, KJ, AJ, AT from early position business. Give me a pair of pocket deuces, though, and I'm still going to try and sneak it in. If someone raises, I'll call if there are at least three callers (in a cash game), and if it'll cost me less than 10% of my chipstack in a tournament.

Sorry, I just don't have the discipline.

My favorite moves: The Blindsmasher

The more I play poker, the more I learn about the power of position. Much of the increase I've seen in earnings in recent months has come from improving my understanding of the subtle nuances of it. Out of that improved understanding has come an increase in the frequency of my using my absolute favorite strategic move; all-in from the big blind when there are a lot of limpers in front. I call it "The Blindsmasher".

A year or so ago, we had a pretty steady 5-10 NLHE game in the casino where I deal. The first thing I noticed about that game was the aggression, especially from players in position. More often than not, pots were raised and re-raised; there was a flop significantly less than half the time. When a hand did finally make it to showdown, I was frequently amazed and amused to see the marginal (at best) cards they'd been raising with. This was a poker game!

There was one player I especially got a kick out of watching. He was an old guy, at least 80. who'd sit there with a big stogie in his hand, acting like he didn't know what was going on. He was absolutely fearless, and had no problem whatsoever shoving 'em all in the middle. There was one move he frequently made that I absolutely loved. Whenever he was on the big blind and there were a lot of limpers in front of him, he was very likely to shove all-in with any two cards. More often than not, everyone folded. When someone did call, he drew out on them with alarming regularity. While an astute player occasionally trapped him by limping a big pocket pair when he was on the big blind, it was clearly a profitable move for him.

The other players in the game definitely didn't like the move, they griped about it a lot, calling him a maniac, etc. Thing is, he wasn't. With the exception of that move, I don't think I ever saw him make a bluff. I soon realized that was helpful, too. That "Blindsmasher" so frustrated other players that they thought he was bluffing every time he put out a big bet. He got a lot of action from players saying things like "he can't have cards EVERY time he pulls that move", etc. They didn't seem to notice that this time, he wasn't on the big blind.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about that move, and even more experimenting with it. While I believe it's VERY effective once you understand the rationale behind it and the circumstances under which it should be used and the circumstances under which it should not, The true beauty of The Blindsmasher is that it's one of the most thrilling moves you can make. Win or lose, it leaves you with an amazing rush!

In my opinion, The Blindsmasher is a better tournament move than a cash game move, especially when you use it more than once. In a cash game, frustrated people can always rebuy, so they're more likely to call. In a tournament, it's all over when the chips are gone, and that makes people think twice about calling. Also, in a cash game, the risk/reward for a relatively small pot just isn't worth it. In a tournament, those small pots add up; snatching a few rounds of free blinds can be very helpful to your cause.

There are more benefits to The Blindsmasher than just the pots you pick up, though; especially if you're a tight player. Most other players at the table aren't really watching, or, if they are, aren't watching much. If they see one dramatic move, most players around you will see that move as your whole game. Nothing frustrates limpers more than when the big blind raises; they want to see a flop, they were almost there, and the big blind is SUPPOSED to check, for Christ's sake! In their minds, you become a maniac bluffer, ESPECIALLY if they see you do the move more than once. They will remember, and they will carry a grudge.

On one hand, this can hurt you, as the more often they see that move, the more likely they are to call with marginal hands. If you have a marginal hand yourself, you're liable to get caught with your hand in the cookie jar. On the other hand, when you're not in the big blind and catch a big hand, you can make a big raise or re-raise and many of your opponents will remember the times you did The Blindsmasher, not all the times you've folded, and give you action. I've had this happen a lot lately, with players commenting on how they were sure I was bluffing because of The Blindsmasher. They never made the correlation between that move and my being in the big blind.

Another benefit of The Blindsmasher comes into play when you catch a decent hand in the big blind. KQ, AJ, 88, etc. What do you do with those? If you raise and get called, you're out of position for the rest of the hand. If you check, you're letting all those limpers in and you have no idea what they might be holding. Unless you catch very lucky on the flop, you're going to have to risk a lot of chips trying to find out where you are in the hand, and may very well have to fold the best hand.

It's important to remember that, when you're in the the big blind, you're in the BEST position preflop, but TERRIBLE position postflop. If you just check the big blind when there are limpers in front, you aren't taking advantage of that position at all. By limping, your opponents are giving you a clear message: "I am not strong, but I hope to get strong on the flop". If you give them that flop for what they've chosen to invest in it, you're letting them outplay you before the flop. The only way to utilize the power of your preflop position is to set the price of the hand yourself; hopefully one so high that your opponents will surrender the pot to you right then and there.

Now many will question the all-in here. Why not just make a big raise? The answer is simple. After the flop, you are out of position against all but the small blind. The ONLY way to take advantage of the preflop positional advantage of being in the big blind is to NEGATE your opponents' positional advantage after the flop by removing ALL postflop decision-making. This is an all or nothing move. Very risky; VERY thrilling and, under the right conditions, VERY profitable.

The operative words there are: "under the right conditions". Utilized properly, The Blindsmasher is a very powerful weapon to have in your arsenal. One mistake, however, and you're screwed. Recognizing when conditions are favorable for The Blindsmasher, and when they aren't is absolutely essential to being successful with it. I've gone so far to make myself a "Pre-Blindsmasher checklist":

*** Did any of the first three players to act (early position) limp in?

If "yes", you CANNOT do the Blindsmasher. Players in early position who lack discipline and understanding of position frequently try to limp in with strong to medium-strong hands (AQ, AJ, KQ, medium pocket pairs, etc.) and will often be stubborn with them. Also, one very tricky way to play AA and KK from early position is to limp it in (The Stealth Monster), hoping for a raise. Never forget Rule of Aquisition # 82: BEWARE THE EARLY-POSITION LIMPER!

*** Do any of the players in the hand have you significantly covered (2:1 or better)?

If "yes", you CANNOT do the Blindsmasher. Players with big stacks (especially in low-buy-in online tournaments) are frequently willing to gamble, especially when they have money in the pot. Never forget Rule of Aquisition # 243: PEOPLE DON'T LEAVE THEIR BABIES OUT IN THE COLD.

*** Are there any "action" players in the hand?

If "yes", you SHOULD NOT do the Blindsmasher. These players LOVE to gamble. The thrill of being all-in is the best part of the game to them; they are more likely to call you than not. You can spot them by the number of times they're all-in. Their chipstack also usually goes up and down a lot.

*** Do any of the players in the hand have less than 10x CPR (Cost Per Round; the total of the blinds and antes, what it costs you to play a round of poker)?

If "yes", you SHOULD NOT do the Blindsmasher, UNLESS you have them covered by at least 4:1. If you do, and there are no other players with stacks near your size in the hand, you should think about doing it with any two cards. They MAY fold. If they don't, there's always Rule of Aquisition # 301: WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, IMPLEMENT "PLAN B". Plan B is simple, you get lucky and suck out on them, and it's not as unlikely as it may seem. The sad thing about this game is that, if you match the best unpaired pocket cards, AKs heads up against the worst hand in poker, 72o, AKs is only a 1.5:1 favorite; 2 times out of 5, 72o will beat it. You can ALWAY get lucky. The trick is to put yourself in a position to get lucky, and to do so when luck is the backup plan, not "Plan A". If you bet or raise, making your opponent fold is "Plan A". It's the way to go. When you're calling, you're doing so based upon the strength of your cards, but preflop, even AA will lose 1 time in 5 all-in against a single opponent. You're gambling when you make that call, and you have to remember Rule of Aquisition # 115: "YOU'RE NEVER AS FAR AHEAD IN THE HAND AS YOU THINK YOU ARE."

*** Are there any tight-passive players in the hand?

If "yes", BE CAREFUL. These players pride themselves on being tricky, and love nothing better than busting the aggressive people who push them around on the poker table and in their lives. They hold grudges forever and will take HUGE risks to exact revenge. If they've EVER seen you make this move, they're likely to limp with a big hand in the hope that you will try it. The earlier the position of the tight-passive player in the hand, the more dangerous they are, and the more you should beware them.

*** Are there any calling stations in the hand?

If "yes", BE CAREFUL! These players HATE to lay down a hand, and are often likely to call any raise with any hand they'd limp in with.

*** Have you done The Blindsmasher recently?

If "yes", BE CAREFUL! Every time the players at your table see you do The Blindsmasher, the more likely they are to call you the next time you do it. Remember, this move frustrates the hell out of players, most of whom will only raise off the big blind with AA, KK, QQ, JJ, or AKs, and they expect you to do the same. They HATE The Blindsmasher! Do it once, and they're all laying for you. Do it twice and they'll be PRAYING to catch any pocket pair or Ace-anything when you're in the big blind so they can bust you. The Blindsmasher is a move best used in moderation. Remember Rule of Aquisition #27: KNOCK ON A DORR OFTEN ENOUGH AND SOMEBODY"S GOING TO ANSWER IT.

*** Do you have more than 15x CPR?

If "yes", you have enough money to sucessfully make this move. The Blindsmasher is a smackdown. You have to have enough chips to make your opponents think twice about calling. If you're short-stacked, you should probably do The Blindsmasher anyway, there's some money in the pot and no one's shown any strength, but doing it under these conditions attracts a call, you're probably going to have to catch lucky to take it down. At least this way, you may fold out SOME of the limpers, and you'll have 5 cards to catch, not just 3.

*** Are there 4 or more limpers in the pot?

If "yes", you CAN do the Blindsmasher.

If "no", you might want to reconsider. While this may seem counter-intuitive, the more limpers there are, the more money there is in the pot. This is a VERY high-risk maneuver, the payoff has to be worth it. Also, with more people to act behind them, some players will be a bit more reluctant to call, as they still have the other players to deal with.

*** Do you have a medium-strength hand like AT, KJ, or 77?

If "yes", this is a GREAT time to do The Blindsmasher, UNLESS, one of the first three positions has limped in, and they are a player you think may be sophisticated enough to do The Stealth Monster (limp AA or KK), or they are a player you think may be undisciplined enough to limp a medium-strength hand in from early position and may get stubborn with it. AT doesn't play well against AJ; 77 SUCKS against 88.

Otherwise, though, this is a great opportunity to take what may very well be the best hand preflop and see it win. Those medium-strength hands are very vulnerable to the flop, and having to play them out of position after the flop just makes them even more so. What they DO offer is an excellent "backup plan" for The Blindsmasher. It's a move you make with any two cards; when you hold a medium-strength hand, you may very well be bluffing with the best hand.

You can also employ The Blindsmasher from the small blind, but there is the slight additional risk of not having any idea what the player in the big blind is holding. It will make this HIGH-RISK move just a bit riskier.

I have been experimenting with this move A LOT lately, and can tell you that virtually every time I've gotten hurt with it, it's been one of the "danger" conditions I've outlined above. Following the above checklist closely makes The Blindsmasher both a thrilling and profitable move.

What do poker and an onion have in common?

I'm learning how to play poker; a never-ending process. You never completely understand this game; that's what is so awesome about it. Every time you learn one thing, you see another thing to learn. That's what poker has in common with an onion; it's a game of layers. Every time you peel one off, you have another one to peel.

I see that fact fascinating some players, and frustrating others. Here's a little hint. If you don't love the PROCESS of learning; if each layer of additional mystery you reveal as you peel the onion of poker knowledge frustrates you, rather than fascinates you; if you have a need for ABSOLUTE, DEFINITIVE answers and strategy; then this isn't the game for you.

In chess, for example, you can memorize the correct move for every situation that presents itself. All the pieces are on the board, in full view; 100% of the information regarding the game is available to you, the only limits are your ability to memorize and your powers of observation and concentration.

Poker is different. The only absolute information you have is the two cards you hold and whatever falls on the board. There is an unbelievable amount of additional information available to you, but it's only obtainable through close observation and deductive reasoning; Sherlock Holmes and Adrian Monk would both be great poker players!

I teach a beginners' poker class on Thursday nights, and the most common thing I get from beginners is a desire to have definitive answers for what they're supposed to do. Many of them get very frustrated when I give them the answer that is the absolute key to winning at poker:

"That depends."

It sounds like a smug cop-out, but it's so true. Here's an example: the other night, I was playing in a 1-2 NLHE game. Another dealer who was playing at a different table walked up and asked whether I would call a 12.00 preflop raise with JT suited.

"What position were you in?" I asked.

"On the button", she replied.

"How much do you have in front of you?"

"60.00"

"What position is the raiser in?" I ask.

"Under the gun"

"How loose or tight is the raiser?

A little frustrated, she says: "Loose!".

"How big is his stack?"

"Over 300.00"

"How many callers?"

Now, she is clearly frustrated; to the point of being pissed: "One", she snaps.

"How loose or tight is the caller?"

"Forget it!" she says as she shows me her palm and stalks off, muttering to herself.

I wasn't trying to be difficult. All of the questions I asked her were questions she should have been asking herself, as the answers to them are critical in the making of this decision. There are situations where I would instantly fold JTs to a 12.00 raise; situations where I would gladly call; and situations where I would shove all my chips in the middle with that hand when raised to 12.00, depending on the answers to those and other questions.

The number one request I get from students in my class is a list of playable hands. "What hands can I play; what hands should I fold?" I had the same question when I started playing. Early on in my learning process, I came across a point-ranking system for opening hands, which I thought was a brilliant idea that would revolutionize the process of learning how to play poker. The original system I came across wasn't that accurate, so I spent months, literally hundreds and hundreds of hours adjusting and comparing the values until it was virtually identical to every statistical-value chart, computer simulation and EV table I could find. I even found a way to factor in position!

Bottom line? It's a waste of time. The effort a student puts into learning how to instantly calculate the points (and therefore the statistical value and theoretical "playability" of a hand) could be better spent learning the LOGIC of opening hands. The fundamental flaw behind the point-ranking system (and also every chart of opening hands you'll find) is that they don't teach players WHY one hand is playable and another is not, and how situational factors affect those decisions. With so many variables affecting the value of an opening hand, it's much more important to teach someone what questions to ask; how to REASON their way through the problem.

You'll find the same common thread all through poker; every "answer" is dependent on numerous factors, most of which aren't immediately obvious. To arrive at the right answer, you have to figure it out.

One of my life-mottos came from a Nissan commercial (kinda sad, huh?):

"Life's a journey, enjoy the ride."

Regardless of the source, those are some amazing words. I believe they apply to poker as well. In this game, if you don't enjoy thinking, if sublety, texture and nuance frustrate, rather than fascinate you, if you need absolutes, if the PROCESS of arriving at an aswer isn't at least as satisfying to you as actually having the answer, this probably isn't the game for you.

The Three Hands From HELL!!!

Ok, first, I hate bad beat stories. This is a game of probability, and Murphy's Law of Probability (which I sorta made it up) is that anything that can happen, will happen, and at the worst possible time. Second, I WANT players to make bad decisions against me. Long-term, their bad decisions make me money (at least, that's what I tell myself when I'm trying to talk myself out of smashing the moron who called me all the way down to the river on an inside straight draw right in his or her simpering face). Anyway, I post this because 1) it's pretty funny, and 2) I'm wondering if I could have played it any better. I'm actually pretty happy with my decisions, but want some outside feedback.

I'm playing in a daily tournament at my casino. 35.00 buy in with one 10.00 rebuy and one 10.00 add-on. The blinds are at 75/150, I have around 4,500 in chips, I'm on the button with one early-position limper in front and look down to see:

Ks Ts

I would normally raise in this situation, but the guy who limped is on a big stack and has a tendency to try and sneak big hands in from early position so he can re-raise. I decide to just see a flop and flat-call. The small blind calls, the big blind checks. There's 600 in the pot, and the flop comes:

Qh Jh Js

I'm open-ended, but will fold here to any bet. My Rule of Aquisition #184 is "WHEN THE BOARD PAIRS, BEWARE!!"; I don't draw to straights and flushes against paired boards. It checks around to me, and I check as well. I'm not going to risk getting check-raised trying a semi-bluff in this situation. The turn comes:

Qh Jh Js 9d

I've made my straight! It checks around to me again. Hmmmmm. Mr Slow Play in early position might have checked a full house once, but twice? Especially when two out of his three opponents in the hand have checked again? The other two players are inexperienced, and I don't think they'd do that either. I decide to find out where I am in the hand and bet 400. The small blind folds, the big blind raises to 1,000 and the guy in early position folds.

I try to put the pieces together. If the big blind had flopped quads or a full house, checked the flop AND checked the turn, why would he raise here with me betting into him? The whole reason for checking a monster like trips not once, but twice is to portray weakness and to let your opponents catch up a little bit, or induce them to bluff at it. If he was going to slow-play it this far, why wouldn't he walk the dog on me, extracting as many chips as possible? If he had a full house or better, the smart move would have been to flat-call, hoping I'd put him on a flush draw. If the third heart didn't come, he could bet hoping I'd read it as a busted flush making a steal. Nope, the only thing that made sense here was a poorly played Jack trying to be tricky. Only a moron would check trip Jacks here twice with flush and open-ended straight draws on the board and 4 opponents in the hand, but, as I went over hands I'd remembered seeing him play, I decided that's where he was. I ask him for a count. He has about 2000 more. If I lose, I'll, still have around 1500 left. I shove 'em all in. He instantly calls, slapping his Jd Ts down and crowing, until someone points out that I have the straight.

"Oh", he said, "I didn't see that"

Of course, the river comes:


Qh Jh Js 9d 9c, giving him a full house. Sigh .....

The very next hand, I'm in the cutoff with about 1500 left. It folds around to me, I look down and see:

Qs Qh

Short-stacked, I shove 'em all in the middle, hoping a marginal hand will think my raise is a little red-assed and call. I get my wish. The small blind calls with:

Ad Tc, and makes a Club flush.

REBUY!

I get my 1000 in chips. THE VERY NEXT HAND, it folds around to me in late position, blinds still at 75/150. I look down and see:

Kc Kd

UNBELIEVABLE!!!

I shove 'em all in there. The guy on the button (the same guy who called last hand) calls with:

As 8h, and makes an eight-high straight!

The table sits in stunned silence. "Nice hand", I say as I get up, slink away, go home and beat my dog. Looking back at it, I don't think I could have played it any better. Yes, I could have just called JT's raise on the turn in the first hand, but he could well have been on a flush draw, and, if he did have a Jack, he had 10 outs at that point to make a full house or better on the river. I felt I had to protect my hand and make him pay dearly for his draw, and I did.

On the next two hands, I got my money in good as a 3:1 favorite both times. You can't ask for much better than that, especially when you're short-stacked. With the Queens especially, I would've preferred to see a flop before committing, but I would've called any preflop raise with both hands, so why not get the money in right there and have possible fold equity as well?

How sick is that to have those three hands all in a row? My poker name in the casino has changed from "Sean The Squeeze" to "Three Hands From Hell" ("Three Hands" for short). Not sure how I feel about that.

Adventures At The 1-2 Table, or, Don't Tangle With A Bunch Of Donkeys When All You Are Is A Burro

(written in August, 2005)

So, I've been running pretty good lately, and my poker buddy Travis has lost less than usual. With those recent events bolstering our confidence, we decided to go to the "other" poker room in town yesterday and see what was what. We both bought into the 1-2 NLHE game for 100.00. I was in the 4 seat with Travis on my right, in seat 3.

Now, this coming weekend, we're having the Scotty Nguyen Challenge at our casino, a 5,000.00 buy-in tournament with 10,000.00 in starting chips and 60 minute blind rounds. Big time poker. Before we started playing, I told Travis I'll enter the super satellite to "The Scotty" (as we call it) if I won the 120.00 entry fee in the game we were in. If I don't win it, I won't enter. He has to work, so he can't enter.

We play for about 3 1/2 hours and have a great time. As usual, Travis starts feeling sorry for people. He's in a hand with this old guy in seat 1 who is hard of hearing. Despite the fact that the old coot is a manic raiser and is absolutely ruthless, I see Travis starting to go soft on Old One-Ear. The two of them are in a hand, the board comes:

Kh 7c 5s

Travis checks. Old One-Ear starts to reach for chips and Travis says: "You might want to think about checkin' there; if you bet I'll raise ya."

Ahhhh crap. Here he goes again.

"WHAT?" says One-Ear, cupping a hand to his right ear, "I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARIN', YOU KNOW".

"I KNOW", Travis replies, "I SAID, IF YOU BET, I'LL RAISE YOU!"

With a cackle that reveals several missing teeth, Old One-Ear fearlessly fires 18.00 into the pot (for reasons no one can fathom, he always bets or raises in increments of 18.00). Travis immediately raises him another 50.00. Old-One-Ear counts out the call, sets it to the side, then starts to stack the rest of his chips to push all in. Sure enough, here comes Travis:

"AY", he says, "YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO DO THAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE POCKET KINGS. THAT'S ALL I'M WORRIED ABOUT RIGHT NOW."

"POCKET QUEENS???", says Old One-Ear, "WHAT ABOUT POCKET ACES; OR POCKET SEVENS, OR POCKET FIVES, OR ....."

"KINGS!!!!!" Travis hollers back "I SAID POCKET KINGS"

"OH, YOU HAVE POCKET KINGS?"

"NO, I SAID YOU DON'T WANT TO RAISE ME IF YOU DON'T HAVE POCKET KINGS!!!!!"

Jesus Christ! Everybody in the poker room is looking at our table now. The light bulb finally comes on over Old One-Ear's head, and he just calls as I sock Travis in the gut. The hand runs out with both of them checking it down. Travis turns up his pocket 7s (surprise! surprise!) and Old One-Ear turns up K5o, saying:

"I KNEW WHAT YOU HAD, BUT I WAS TRYIN' TO DRAW OUT ON YOU!"

Well, DUH! Travis rakes in the pot with a stupid, cow-like grin on his face as I give him a glare that'd melt solid steel. I'm up about 150.00 at this point, and, unbelievably, so is Travis. I figure it's time to get the hell out of there while we're ahead. We go and get something to eat. As we're eating, Travis' daughter calls, telling him she's home early. He decides he doesn't want her to be home alone, so he drops me back at the casino and skedaddles. I decide to go back in and play some more. Hell, I won over 150.00 in 3 1/2 hours, that means I should win 300.00 in 7 hours, right? Famous last words.

I end up back in the same seat at the same table, with a fresh 100.00 buy-in in front of me. Old One-Ear is still in seat 1, now with about 400.00 in front of him. If anything, he's more aggressive than ever. I decide to play tight and wait to catch him when I’ve got a big hand. While I wait, I tangle with the player in seat 9.

In our earlier session, I was in the big blind with 5 limpers (including the player in seat 9). I looked down and saw:

Ad Kd

I raised, making it 12.00, straight. Two players call, then it comes around to the player in seat 9, who re-raises to 75.00 straight! It folds back around to me. He’s a skinny guy with greasy hair and glasses and is wearing a cotton oxford shirt that was obviously pulled straight from the dryer. The only thing missing is a pocket protector. I later learn he’d left it in the car. I watch him carefully as I say:

"You want me to believe you limped a monster from late position with two limpers in front of you?"

I don't get a read, but decide 2:1 on my money isn't good enough when I don't hold a pair and don't have a good feel for how strong he is. I lay it down. He turns up a Queen, not showing the other card.

"Hell, he had pocket Queens!" said Travis. That perked Old One-Ear up:

"Collard Greens?" he asked, "Where do you get collard greens? I'm starvin!"

"I SAID, POCKET QUEENS!" yelled Travis, "HE HAD POCKET QUEENS!"

"That's playing pretty tight, Sonny", Old One-Ear says to me. "Hell, if I'd had pocket Queens there, I'da shoved 'em all into the middle".

I start to try to explain it, but decide to give up. "YOU'RE RIGHT, SIR, I MADE A PRETTY BIG MISTAKE THERE. THANKS FOR THE ADVICE."

He waves his hand to me and goes back to stacking his chips in increments of 18.00. I turn to Travis and, speaking softly so there's no way Old One-Ear can hear, say:

"No way he'd slow play a monster from there. He saw a raise and a lot of flat-callers and decided to steal it. Besides, if he'd had pocket Queens, I think he would've shown both of them, not one."

Travis disagrees and goes back to feeling sorry for players. Anyway, fast forward back to the present. I'm now on the button with three limpers in front (including the player in seat 9). I look down and see:

9s 9d

I raise to 12.00. Everyone folds but the player in seat 9, who calls. The flop comes:

2c 4d 7s

He checks. With an overpair, I decide to bet 20.00. Seat 9 quickly calls. The turn comes:

2c 4d 7s Kd

The player in seat 9 checks. I bet 25.00. He calls right away. The river comes:

2c 4d 7s Kd 2s

The player in seat 9 checks. I check, too. He turns up:

Ah Ac

Well, I guess Travis was right about those Queens. I go card dead for awhile and end up watching as Sammy Slowplay in seat 9 continues to slow play every big hand he gets, calling every bet down to the river. During that time, Old One-Ear goes raise-crazy, time and again pumping it up to 18.00. He's called down a number of times and shows some pretty weak starting hands. I don't think any of the other players are watching that carefully, though, as most of them continue to lay down to him, sometimes showing pretty strong holdings as they do so. I soon find myself in the big blind with 4 limpers in front, including Sammy Slowplay, and Old One-Ear. What the hell, no 18.00 raise? I look down and see:

Jh 7h

I check. The flop comes:

Js 7s 3h

With Old One-Ear in the hand, I can be pretty sure he'll bet; he ALWAYS bets if he senses weakness, so I check it. Before it gets around to One-Ear, though, Sammy Slowplay bets 10.00. What????? Sammy Slowplay never bets, he calls! It folds around to me. I honestly can't put him on a hand. He's liable to limp ANYTHING in preflop. I decide to find out where I am in the hand and make it 30.00. He pushes all-in for another 15.00. With 85.00 in the pot, I have to call. We turn up our hands. He shows:

Ac Jc

Three guesses what comes on the river. Sigh ...... I'm now down to 20.00. "Chips!"

Not long thereafter, Old One-Ear goes raise crazy again, popping it up to 18.00 more hands than not. I've had to lay down a number of hands that I really would've liked to have seen flops with, and I've had enough. I'm in the cutoff, and Old One-Ear raises to 18.00. I look down and see:

As 8s

The dead man's hand! Not worth a raise here, but I'm tired of laying down. I pump it up another 50.00. Old One-Ear thinks about it awhile, then ruefully lays it down! Not only that, but he stops raising for quite awhile. I am my hero!

4 or 5 hands later, I'm in early position and squeeze off:

Js Td

Despite my first impulse to play intelligent poker, I decide to see if I can limp it in; there hasn’t been a lot of raising lately. It folds around to One-Ear, who is in the big blind. He checks. CHECKS?! I think he's a little afraid of me! The flop comes:

Kh Qh 6c

Old One Ear fires out (you guessed it) 18.00.

"Sir," I say, "You realize you're betting 18.00 into a 5.00 pot?"

"WHAT?" says Old One-Ear as he cups a hand to his ear, "I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING, YOU KNOW."

Ahhhh, screw it. That old fart is bluffing! I raise him another 50 bucks. As soon as I do, I know I've made a huge mistake. While I have an open-ended straight draw, If I miss it on the turn, I only have 55.00 left; not enough to push him off the hand. The move there was to fold or shove all-in. I decide to give it up if I don't make the straight on the turn. The turn comes:

Kh Qh 6c Ts

Crap, that's the worst card possible for me if I want to get away from this hand. Now I have even more outs. I may even have the best hand! One-Ear checks it to me. Ahhh, what the hell (The worst thing to say while in a poker hand. Anytime you say "Ahhhh, what the hell", you can pretty much bet bet whatever you do next is gonna be a BIG mistake). Anyway, Ahhhh, what the hell. I push ‘em all-in. He immediately calls. The river comes a blank. I turn my cards up; he shows:

Kc 7h

"Nice hand", I say, as I slink away from the table. I call Travis while I'm on the way home and tell him about it.

"Well", he says, "I guess you won't be playing in the Super Satellite, then."

"What do you mean? I won the entry fee, I'm in."

"Yeah", says Travis, "But you just lost 200.00. You only won 150, so you're down 50 bucks."

"Listen, Mr. Dumbass, I didn't say anything about losing, I only said about winning, and I did; so shut your pie hole and quit burning up all my rollover minutes."

I gotta hop in the shower now. The super satellite starts in less than two hours, and my winnings are burning a hole in my pocket.

Lies, Alibis and Running Scared: or, Fear and Loathing in Oklahoma

(written in May, 2005)

Well, today was the big day, the Wild West Shootout tournament at The Cherokee Casino in Tulsa. 330.00 buy-in, 3000.00 in starting chips, 60 minute blind rounds and blinds starting at 25/25. 321 players, paying 36 players deep and a first prize of 25,000.00. The tournament started at noon today (Saturday), with play continuing until midnight or until it got down to the final 36 players. The tournament will conclude starting at 4 pm tomorrow (Sunday).

I'm really proud of my casino. Things were well planned and laid out and ran very smoothly. There were very few dealer errors and fewer bad floor calls. I've been there since we opened the poker room, and it was pretty rocky at first. It's only in the past few months that things have improved to the point where I think we could successfully pull off a big tournament like this.

I won my seat in a 40.00 S&G. It took 3 tries, but I'm telling people it took 13. Never let something as trivial as facts stand in the way of a good story. My buddy Travis won his seat in a S&G, too.

Travis and I got together for breakfast before the tournament. I wanted to talk about patience, balance and most importantly, not feeling sorry for the other players at the table. Travis is a pretty good poker player until he tilts, and I wanted to make sure he went into this with a good mindset. About 15 minutes before the start of the tournament, I went outside and sat in the sun, breathing deeply and slowly and just trying to clear my mind. When I went in to take my seat, I was feeling great, and more importantly: ready.

I drew the 1 seat at table 23. Immediately to my left, in the 2 seat, was Charley. Charley is around 60; a long-time poker player who had his own game for years and who plays regularly at the casino; usually in the highest-stakes game available. Charley is a hoot at the table, always talking and joking (mostly at his own expense). He is great at reading people and is unbelievable after the flop. Next to Charley, in the 3 seat, is George. George is around 40, a regular 2-5 player, and is one of my favorites. He's a very good poker player and is just a great guy. He has a dry, ironic sense of humor (as I do) and is always fun to be around. While I know I'm going to have a great time at this table with these two there, I'm not crazy about having them directly to my left. They are both players I consider better than I am, and I would really like to know what they were going to do before I acted.

In the 8 seat is Nick "The Greek". Uh-oh. The Greek is another regular, playing in the highest stakes games we spread. He is a really nice guy; very good natured, but he is aggressive as hell and has A LOT of gamble in him; especially when he has chips. He is DANGEROUS! I decide to stick with my strategy of being VERY tight for at least the first several hours, watching players carefully and getting a good tag on the table. I don't play a single hand for the first 30 minutes. By the time we take our first break after two hours, I've only played 3 (including blinds!).

As I thought, I'm having a great time. Charley, George and I are constantly teasing and joking and keep the table in stitches. Just before the two-hour break, The player in seat 6 I'd nicknamed "Will Rogers" (a calling station who never met an opening hand he didn't like), gets stubborn in a hand with Charley, calling pot-sized bets all the way down with bottom pair and an Ace kicker. Charley, who never lets something as inconsequential as the fact that the flop, turn and river missed him completely stop him from betting, is now in trouble: he has less than 1,000.00 in chips. Over the next 5 hours, I will get an incredible lesson in short-stacked play. Charley is not catching cards, but he plays his position masterfully and uses his people reading skills to make a number of amazing bluffs, calls, and laydowns. He never gets his stack built back up; again, he is just not catching cards, but I think he did an amazing job just hanging on as long as he did. By the time he busts out, I have had dozens of lessons, when we're both out of hands, talking quietly to him about what other players might be holding. He gives me a lot of great tips on people-reading.

At one point, Charlie, George and I start quietly making prop bets on whether "Will Rogers" will fold or not. I pick up 30 bucks, 5 bucks at a time, with a simple strategy: I ALWAYS bet he won't fold. My best performance here is in hour 6. Under the gun, Will Rogers raises 4x big blind (he hasn't raised preflop all day). It folds around to George, who, after a lot of thinking, reluctantly folds. "Damn it", he says, "I hated to lay that down. Had tens." The other players have folded. I tell George he'd made a good laydown; the guy clearly had Aces. George disagrees.

"Ten Bucks!" I say.

"Done", says George, and we shake as Will, who hasn't heard a word of our conversation, proudly shows 2 black Aces before mucking them. George laughs as he pays up.

"Thanks George", I say as I pocket the cash, 'Prompt payment makes fast friends."

The Greek, as usual, plays aggressively and soon is the chip leader at the table. He’d started drinking Bud Lights just before 1. Around 3, George says the more The Greek drinks, the looser he gets and starts buying him beers, two at a time. Around 5, I ask George if he'd mind switching The Greek over to coffee. The Greek is clearly blasted, and is having a great time crushing the table. At least twice per blind round, the action gets around to The Greek, who dramatically waves his hand towards the middle, boldly announcing "All-In!" before taking a big swig off of his longneck. The few people who call him are getting busted; The Greek is catching cards! He soon has a massive chipstack, having more in front of him than any other two players at the table combined. I don't play a single hand for almost two hours, and The Greek has gone all-in every time I was in the big blind but once. That time, he went all-in when I was in the small blind. I realized that was simply the alcohol having dulled his reflexes to the point where he was a hand behind on crushing me into the ground.

In hour 5, I realize we have a problem. The Greek has so browbeaten the table that no-one is busting out. While this would not seem to be a bad thing, no one busting out means no new money is coming into the table. We are falling behind the rest of the tournament. I stick to my plan, waiting for a big hand so I can double up through The Greek. I'd had Aces once in hour two. I acted before The Greek and raised. He folded. Damn it, what a donkey I am! The play there was to limp in the hope he would raise me!

It's now hour 6. I've played a total of 9 hands. I've taken a beating in the last two and am down to 1500 in chips. I'm in the big blind. The action gets to The Greek. "All-In!" he says, taking a big swig off his beer. It folds around to me. I look down and see:

7d 7h

"Greek", I say to myself, "You're in trouble". I've been watching The Greek closely for hours. His pattern is always the same: "All-In!" followed by a swig of beer; BUT, I've noticed that sometimes, when he takes that swig, he sucks on the bottle so hard there's an inch of head left in the beer after he puts it down. Every time he's done that and I've seen his cards, he was raising with a weak hand. I see the head in the beer and call, figuring I'm facing two, or even one overcard. The Greek turns up:

Qc Jh

Whew! The flop comes:

Ks 7c 9h

Yes! I have a set! The turn comes:

Ks 7c 9h Tc

Holy Shit! The Greek has a freakin straight! George comes out of his seat, smacks the table and yells: "Pair the board! Pair the board!" Several other players at the table join in; "Pair the board! Pair the board!" The players at the nearby tables hear the commotion and a number of them gather around our table, many joining in the shouting. I just sit there in stunned silence, pissed that I'm about to get busted out, but also very gratified to see all these people rooting for me. I love this game. The river comes:

Ks 7c 9h Tc 7s

FUCKING QUADS!!!!! Everyone breaks out in cheers. The Greek grins and shakes my hand, as usual showing good sportsmanship. I feel like a million bucks!

Three hands later, I have around 3,000 in chips and The Greek has limped in from early position. Alarm bells start jangling. The Greek don't limp! The woman in seat 10 pushes all-in for 1800.00. I look down and see:

Tc Th

I really don't see a choice. I have to play this and I have to raise. I'm sure if I just call, The Greek will either call or put me all-in, he's just not going to miss a chance to pick off two players unless he thinks one or both of us is REALLY strong. I push all in. The Greek thinks for a minute, then folds, showing:

Ah 3d

Whew. With the way he's been catching cards, I do not want him in the hand with an overcard. The woman in seat 10 turns up:

Js Jc

Crap! I'm screwed. Oh well. I'll still have chips; I can play back. Virtue, however, is it's own reward. Utilizing my superior poker skills, I outplay her by flopping a set and take the hand down, busting her out.

A little while later, I've been on a roll and have picked up some chips. Feeling pretty good, I proceed to make my stupidest play of the tournament. I'm in the big blind with 16,000 or so in chips. The Greek is away from the table, so I get to see a free flop with 3 limpers and hole cards of:

Qd Ts

The flop comes:

Qc Tc 6c

I've got top 2 pair, but there are THREE Clubs on the board! The player in the small blind, who came in after I busted out the woman with the Jacks, has slightly more in chips than I have. He's an aggressive player, and bets 1,000 after the flop. I think about it for awhile and decide if he had the flush, he would've checked it to see if anyone would bet it for him. I put him on a Queen or a flush draw and push all-in. The other 2 players fold; he thinks about it for a bit and calls, turning up pocket sixes; he has a set! I’m way behind! With 4 outs, I’m a 5:1 underdog to win the hand. I catch a lucky Q on the river to make a higher full house than his and win the hand.

What a terrible, stupid play I made! In a tournament, measuring risk vs. reward is even more critical than it is in a cash game. One mistake and you're done. Two of my favorite quotes come into play here; it's just too bad I didn't think of them BEFORE I made that dumb move.

Doyle Brunson said: "ALWAYS LEAVE YOURSELF OUTS" (Rule of Aquisition #153). I believe this actually has two meanings. The first pertains mostly to bluffs and means you want to have some kind of a draw (however unlikely) when you bluff, just in case you get called. When you throw out a big bet with an inside straight draw, for example, you have at least a CHANCE to hit it if they look you up. I had that here and knew it. With top two pair, I could feel pretty confident that I would have the winner if I hit one of my four outs and made a full house, BUT, I believe the second meaning to Doyle's quote is much more relevant here. In this case, "Always leave yourself outs" means I should have left myself a way to get away from the hand. With three Clubs on the board and three other players in the hand, there's a chance someone is sitting on two clubs. Even more likely is the chance of someone sitting on a single, big Club. With no idea of what the two other players are holding behind me, and the player in front of me having bet the pot, I'm basically bluffing there by going all-in. In that situation, Mike Sexton would say: "The only hand that is going to call you is one that can beat you." He's absolutely right. Even more relevant is my absolute favorite poker quote; again by Mike Sexton; "All-in works every time; but the last time" (Rule of Aquisition #24).

Not only have I taken a HUGE risk here unnecessarily, I've also given the two other players in the hand yet to act, both of them on shorter stacks than mine, more favorable odds to call if they DO have a single, big club. Their odds of hitting the flush on the next card are 4:1, but, over TWO cards, the odds are 2:1. There's already 2,000.00 in the pot, my all-in makes it incredibly tempting for a player with 8-10,000.00 left to call. They won't have odds at that point, but they will if the initial bettor calls, too.

There was a much smarter way to play the hand. When the player in the small blind bet 1,000.00, I should have raised him another 3,000.00. That puts a 4,000.00 call to the other two players yet to act. With only 7,000.00 in the pot, the possibility of the original bettor re-raising, and another card and two betting rounds yet to come, there's no way that bet attracts a call there from the two players behind me who have yet to act; they're not even getting 1.5:1.

If the other two players yet to act had only called or folded, I don't think they the guy with the set would have pushed all-in there; not with 3 Clubs on the board. If he had, I would have folded, and it would have been the correct decision. I'm betting, however, thet the Clubs would have slowed him down and he would simply smooth call. I also think he wouldn't have bet the turn unless he filled up. Unfortunately for him, if he'd filled up on the turn, it would be with a Q or a T, and I'd own him, as I’d have a higher full house. I'm betting he'd check when the turn came a blank, as I would have, and I could have gotten to the Q on the river for a third of my chips, WITHOUT risking my tournament life. Having made a full house on the river, I believe he would have bet there. If he hadn't, he surely would have called my bet. The outcome would have been the same, WITHOUT all the risk.

So, back to the story: I win the hand, and now have around 33,000 in chips. There are around 90 players left in the tournament; with the average chipstack around 10,000.00. I'm in good shape, around 10th in chips. Things are about to change, though, as our table will soon break, scattering our merry band to the four winds and sending me to The Table of DEATH!!!!! Here's a hint. Never play poker when the player to your right has horns on his forehead and a pitchfork clutched in his hand.

Now, my pal Travis is still in too. He's been short-stacked for several hours, but has been very patient and has not yet gone on the infamous "Travis Tilt". I was so freaked out after winning that big hand with the QT that I had to get away from the table for awhile. I've never tilted from a win before, but I do here. I spend some time with Travis while I cool off. It was good for me and, I think; good for him too. Besides, there was a SMOKIN' hot babe at his table and, by standing just to Travis' left, I got an awesome view of her cleavage.

So, about 30 minutes after The Big Suck-Out, they break our table, sending me to seat 6 at table 6. I know I'm in trouble before I even sit down. I'm in 11th chip position in the tournament, but I'm in 6th chip position at this table! Two of the players at this table will finish in the top 4; 5 in the top 10, and 7 in the top 20. There are just over 90 players left at this point. Notice, please, that I am in 6th chip position at table 6, sitting in the 6 seat. It will become quite relevant later, as that "6, 6, 6," was clearly a harbinger of things to come.

I observe for over 30 minutes before I play a hand, and every single pot is raised preflop; often 3, 4 and 5-bet! This is tough, smashmouth poker, with the flop being seen less than half the time. It's been more than a year since I've felt totally outclassed at a poker table, but there are at least four players sitting here who are significantly more advanced than I am. I start to panic a little.

The player in seat 8 is in his mid 50s, with around 50,000 in chips (I brought around 40,000 with me to the table.) He's very quiet, but plays fiercely. The first three hands I play, I raise 3 x BB preflop; he calls. The flop misses me all three times, I follow through each time with 3/4 pot-sized continuation bets and he comes over the top, tripling my bet each time. I have to lay them all down. I soon realize he is just calling my initial raises so he can use his superior position and outplay me after the flop. The panic grows.

In seat two sits a young kid with a massive chipstack (he's the chip leader in the tournament). Except for the fact that he has a beard, He looks just like John Murphy (the kid who so dominated the early play at the 2004 WSOP; the one who overslept on day 2). He looks so much like him that I ask to see some ID. He laughs and shows his drivers' license, then raises me. He plays just like John Murphy, too; relentless aggression. If he bets or raises and someone comes over the top; he comes back over every single time.

In seat 3 is Steve; a regular; a big guy who plays high-stakes Hold'em and Omaha. I've dealt to him a lot and really admire his play. He is a master at adjusting his game to the other players at the table and the players he finds himself in the hand with. He's sitting on around 50-60,000 in chips.

And finally, directly to my right in seat 5, sits Satan. The Evil One, I soon learn, is 21 years old, plays online poker for a living and has balls the size of watermelons. He is second in chips at the table and in the tournament. He and the John Murphy look-a-like in seat 1 pretty much avoid each other; but, between the two of them, they are squashing the rest of the table. I tighten up, bide my time, and observe.

After an hour of not playing a hand, I find myself under-the-gun, look down and see:

Ks Kd

Now, every single pot in the past two hours has had at least one preflop raise. With Shiny Balls in seat 5 in the big blind; I feel even more confident that there will be a raise; Lucifer don't have a "check" button. I decide to take a risk and limp. Of course, there are three other limpers. After a second's hesitation, The Angel of Darkness checks. Crap! The flop comes:

Ad Kh Ts

I've made a set, but anyone with QJ has Broadway! I decide: "In for a penny, in for a pound" and check it. The next player in line pushes all in for a little over 8,000. It folds around to Mephistopheles, who calls. I push all in. After a moment's thought, El Diablo folds, showing an Ace. The other player turned up:

Ac 7d

I went on to win the hand. The panic begins to subside a little.

As my confidence builds, I realize it has come down to me or the incubus on my right; he is absolutely clobbering me. If I want to win this tournament, I must first take him out. I decide to set him up.

I guess my slow-play of the Kings made him respect me a little, as he soon strikes up a conversation, asking if I play poker online. It turns out we both play on regularly on the same site. He asks what stakes I play. "Oh," I say, "I usually play 25-50, but, when I'm running good and have my bankroll built up, I'll move up to 1-2."

Later in the conversation, we're discussing buy-ins. He says he prefers to buy in for between 1,500.00 and 2,000.00.

"Oh!", I say, "I prefer to buy in short". He asks how much.

"Usually for 50, or 60." I say "I like the challenge of building my stack".

The Imp Of Evil thinks about that one for awhile; you can almost hear the gears grinding. Finally, he says: "Ummmm ....... when you say 25-50, .... do you mean 25-50 cents?"

"Oh yeah!" I exclaim, "The only way I could afford the buy-in here was to win a sit-n-go."

"How many tries did it take?" He asks.

(drum roll) (3-beat pause)"13" I say. (ta daaaaa!!!!!!)

I barely manage to keep a straight face as Beelezebub looks down at his chips, literally muttering to himself. He will raise my big blind every single time from here on in.

30 minutes or so later, it folds around to The Duke Of Death, who, as usual, raises my big blind. I decide to snap back. I look down and see:

Kh Tc

Not great cards, but, in this situation, they're irrelevant (and likely the best hand). It's here, though, that I make a critical error. Excitement had caused me to sleep very little the night before and I'd been playing poker for over 10 hours today. Fatigued, I mentally lock-up, unable to decide whether I want to triple his raise or push all in. I finally come to a decision, but, as I'm announcing my raise to 10,000.00, I know it's a mistake. Taking all that time will read as weakness to His Evilness and he will surely put me all-in. Sure enough, he does; I fold; he shows:

7d 5s

There are a lot of ooohhhhhs and ahhhhhhhs at the table, but it honestly doesn't tilt me. Sure, I had the best cards, but only a moron would call there with my holding. He made a great play based upon his (correct) read of me. Hats off to him. That play, however, works in my favor later (sort of).

The very next time I'm in the big blind, there's one limper in front. Just as he did last time, Ash Shay Tan raises, making it 3,000.00. I look down and see:

Ac Kc

Showtunes begin to go off in my head. The Denizen Of The Depths is liable to be raising me with any two cards in this situation, and I'm confident I have him crushed here.  I'm pretty sure I can take the hand down right here with an all-in re-raise, but I want to take Raisin’ Ray out. He has slightly more chips than I do, but he'll be completely crippled if he loses this hand. I count to 60, stacking and re-stacking my chips, just as I'd done in our last confrontation. Finally, I raise to 10,000.00, exactly as I'd done before. The limper folds. I pause three beats, then lean over to my right and softly say: "I'm still steamin'". The hook is baited, and, sure enough, the Romulan to my right bites: "All-in!" He says. I call before he can finish the statement. He turns up:

Ad 9h

Perfect! This is the best poker I've ever played. A set up that took over an hour and he jumped through every single hoop I laid in front of him! Of course, the flop comes:

Ah 9c 5s

No King on the turn or river, and I am history, finishing in 53rd place. To his credit, Atomic-balls sits quietly as the hand runs out, turns to me when it's over, offers his hand and says:

"Tough break, man. You totally sucked me in."

Swallowing my disappointment, I shake his hand and say:

"Nice hand. Good luck everyone, I've enjoyed it." and skulk away from the table."

Le Enfant Terrible will go on to finish 7th.

Maybe the smart play there would have been to immediately go all-in and hope I had enough fold equity to take the pot down preflop, but I'm OK with the way I played the hand. I knew the risks and analytically decided to take them. If I'd simply called his preflop raise, I would've had a hard time getting away from that hand when the Ace came on the flop, and a LAG is betting into me. The outcome would probably have been the same.

One a bright note; Travis is still in. He's been short-stacked for over three hours and has, so far, avoided the infamous “Travis Tilt”. He'll finish the day in the money and come back the next day to finish 24th, short-stacked all the way. He played great poker! The tournament gets down to four players when they decide to chop, taking 15,600, each and throwing the chip leader, Nick The Greek an extra two grand.

And there, dear readers, is my story of heartbreak and woe. It's more than a week later, and I'm still a little blue. My head is ok with it, but my guts and certain areas of my “nether regions” are still smarting."