Adventures At The 1-2 Table, or, Don't Tangle With A Bunch Of Donkeys When All You Are Is A Burro
(written in August, 2005)
So, I've been running pretty good lately, and my poker buddy Travis has lost less than usual. With those recent events bolstering our confidence, we decided to go to the "other" poker room in town yesterday and see what was what. We both bought into the 1-2 NLHE game for 100.00. I was in the 4 seat with Travis on my right, in seat 3.
Now, this coming weekend, we're having the Scotty Nguyen Challenge at our casino, a 5,000.00 buy-in tournament with 10,000.00 in starting chips and 60 minute blind rounds. Big time poker. Before we started playing, I told Travis I'll enter the super satellite to "The Scotty" (as we call it) if I won the 120.00 entry fee in the game we were in. If I don't win it, I won't enter. He has to work, so he can't enter.
We play for about 3 1/2 hours and have a great time. As usual, Travis starts feeling sorry for people. He's in a hand with this old guy in seat 1 who is hard of hearing. Despite the fact that the old coot is a manic raiser and is absolutely ruthless, I see Travis starting to go soft on Old One-Ear. The two of them are in a hand, the board comes:
Kh 7c 5s
Travis checks. Old One-Ear starts to reach for chips and Travis says: "You might want to think about checkin' there; if you bet I'll raise ya."
Ahhhh crap. Here he goes again.
"WHAT?" says One-Ear, cupping a hand to his right ear, "I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARIN', YOU KNOW".
"I KNOW", Travis replies, "I SAID, IF YOU BET, I'LL RAISE YOU!"
With a cackle that reveals several missing teeth, Old One-Ear fearlessly fires 18.00 into the pot (for reasons no one can fathom, he always bets or raises in increments of 18.00). Travis immediately raises him another 50.00. Old-One-Ear counts out the call, sets it to the side, then starts to stack the rest of his chips to push all in. Sure enough, here comes Travis:
"AY", he says, "YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO DO THAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE POCKET KINGS. THAT'S ALL I'M WORRIED ABOUT RIGHT NOW."
"POCKET QUEENS???", says Old One-Ear, "WHAT ABOUT POCKET ACES; OR POCKET SEVENS, OR POCKET FIVES, OR ....."
"KINGS!!!!!" Travis hollers back "I SAID POCKET KINGS"
"OH, YOU HAVE POCKET KINGS?"
"NO, I SAID YOU DON'T WANT TO RAISE ME IF YOU DON'T HAVE POCKET KINGS!!!!!"
Jesus Christ! Everybody in the poker room is looking at our table now. The light bulb finally comes on over Old One-Ear's head, and he just calls as I sock Travis in the gut. The hand runs out with both of them checking it down. Travis turns up his pocket 7s (surprise! surprise!) and Old One-Ear turns up K5o, saying:
"I KNEW WHAT YOU HAD, BUT I WAS TRYIN' TO DRAW OUT ON YOU!"
Well, DUH! Travis rakes in the pot with a stupid, cow-like grin on his face as I give him a glare that'd melt solid steel. I'm up about 150.00 at this point, and, unbelievably, so is Travis. I figure it's time to get the hell out of there while we're ahead. We go and get something to eat. As we're eating, Travis' daughter calls, telling him she's home early. He decides he doesn't want her to be home alone, so he drops me back at the casino and skedaddles. I decide to go back in and play some more. Hell, I won over 150.00 in 3 1/2 hours, that means I should win 300.00 in 7 hours, right? Famous last words.
I end up back in the same seat at the same table, with a fresh 100.00 buy-in in front of me. Old One-Ear is still in seat 1, now with about 400.00 in front of him. If anything, he's more aggressive than ever. I decide to play tight and wait to catch him when I’ve got a big hand. While I wait, I tangle with the player in seat 9.
In our earlier session, I was in the big blind with 5 limpers (including the player in seat 9). I looked down and saw:
Ad Kd
I raised, making it 12.00, straight. Two players call, then it comes around to the player in seat 9, who re-raises to 75.00 straight! It folds back around to me. He’s a skinny guy with greasy hair and glasses and is wearing a cotton oxford shirt that was obviously pulled straight from the dryer. The only thing missing is a pocket protector. I later learn he’d left it in the car. I watch him carefully as I say:
"You want me to believe you limped a monster from late position with two limpers in front of you?"
I don't get a read, but decide 2:1 on my money isn't good enough when I don't hold a pair and don't have a good feel for how strong he is. I lay it down. He turns up a Queen, not showing the other card.
"Hell, he had pocket Queens!" said Travis. That perked Old One-Ear up:
"Collard Greens?" he asked, "Where do you get collard greens? I'm starvin!"
"I SAID, POCKET QUEENS!" yelled Travis, "HE HAD POCKET QUEENS!"
"That's playing pretty tight, Sonny", Old One-Ear says to me. "Hell, if I'd had pocket Queens there, I'da shoved 'em all into the middle".
I start to try to explain it, but decide to give up. "YOU'RE RIGHT, SIR, I MADE A PRETTY BIG MISTAKE THERE. THANKS FOR THE ADVICE."
He waves his hand to me and goes back to stacking his chips in increments of 18.00. I turn to Travis and, speaking softly so there's no way Old One-Ear can hear, say:
"No way he'd slow play a monster from there. He saw a raise and a lot of flat-callers and decided to steal it. Besides, if he'd had pocket Queens, I think he would've shown both of them, not one."
Travis disagrees and goes back to feeling sorry for players. Anyway, fast forward back to the present. I'm now on the button with three limpers in front (including the player in seat 9). I look down and see:
9s 9d
I raise to 12.00. Everyone folds but the player in seat 9, who calls. The flop comes:
2c 4d 7s
He checks. With an overpair, I decide to bet 20.00. Seat 9 quickly calls. The turn comes:
2c 4d 7s Kd
The player in seat 9 checks. I bet 25.00. He calls right away. The river comes:
2c 4d 7s Kd 2s
The player in seat 9 checks. I check, too. He turns up:
Ah Ac
Well, I guess Travis was right about those Queens. I go card dead for awhile and end up watching as Sammy Slowplay in seat 9 continues to slow play every big hand he gets, calling every bet down to the river. During that time, Old One-Ear goes raise-crazy, time and again pumping it up to 18.00. He's called down a number of times and shows some pretty weak starting hands. I don't think any of the other players are watching that carefully, though, as most of them continue to lay down to him, sometimes showing pretty strong holdings as they do so. I soon find myself in the big blind with 4 limpers in front, including Sammy Slowplay, and Old One-Ear. What the hell, no 18.00 raise? I look down and see:
Jh 7h
I check. The flop comes:
Js 7s 3h
With Old One-Ear in the hand, I can be pretty sure he'll bet; he ALWAYS bets if he senses weakness, so I check it. Before it gets around to One-Ear, though, Sammy Slowplay bets 10.00. What????? Sammy Slowplay never bets, he calls! It folds around to me. I honestly can't put him on a hand. He's liable to limp ANYTHING in preflop. I decide to find out where I am in the hand and make it 30.00. He pushes all-in for another 15.00. With 85.00 in the pot, I have to call. We turn up our hands. He shows:
Ac Jc
Three guesses what comes on the river. Sigh ...... I'm now down to 20.00. "Chips!"
Not long thereafter, Old One-Ear goes raise crazy again, popping it up to 18.00 more hands than not. I've had to lay down a number of hands that I really would've liked to have seen flops with, and I've had enough. I'm in the cutoff, and Old One-Ear raises to 18.00. I look down and see:
As 8s
The dead man's hand! Not worth a raise here, but I'm tired of laying down. I pump it up another 50.00. Old One-Ear thinks about it awhile, then ruefully lays it down! Not only that, but he stops raising for quite awhile. I am my hero!
4 or 5 hands later, I'm in early position and squeeze off:
Js Td
Despite my first impulse to play intelligent poker, I decide to see if I can limp it in; there hasn’t been a lot of raising lately. It folds around to One-Ear, who is in the big blind. He checks. CHECKS?! I think he's a little afraid of me! The flop comes:
Kh Qh 6c
Old One Ear fires out (you guessed it) 18.00.
"Sir," I say, "You realize you're betting 18.00 into a 5.00 pot?"
"WHAT?" says Old One-Ear as he cups a hand to his ear, "I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING, YOU KNOW."
Ahhhh, screw it. That old fart is bluffing! I raise him another 50 bucks. As soon as I do, I know I've made a huge mistake. While I have an open-ended straight draw, If I miss it on the turn, I only have 55.00 left; not enough to push him off the hand. The move there was to fold or shove all-in. I decide to give it up if I don't make the straight on the turn. The turn comes:
Kh Qh 6c Ts
Crap, that's the worst card possible for me if I want to get away from this hand. Now I have even more outs. I may even have the best hand! One-Ear checks it to me. Ahhh, what the hell (The worst thing to say while in a poker hand. Anytime you say "Ahhhh, what the hell", you can pretty much bet bet whatever you do next is gonna be a BIG mistake). Anyway, Ahhhh, what the hell. I push ‘em all-in. He immediately calls. The river comes a blank. I turn my cards up; he shows:
Kc 7h
"Nice hand", I say, as I slink away from the table. I call Travis while I'm on the way home and tell him about it.
"Well", he says, "I guess you won't be playing in the Super Satellite, then."
"What do you mean? I won the entry fee, I'm in."
"Yeah", says Travis, "But you just lost 200.00. You only won 150, so you're down 50 bucks."
"Listen, Mr. Dumbass, I didn't say anything about losing, I only said about winning, and I did; so shut your pie hole and quit burning up all my rollover minutes."
I gotta hop in the shower now. The super satellite starts in less than two hours, and my winnings are burning a hole in my pocket.
So, I've been running pretty good lately, and my poker buddy Travis has lost less than usual. With those recent events bolstering our confidence, we decided to go to the "other" poker room in town yesterday and see what was what. We both bought into the 1-2 NLHE game for 100.00. I was in the 4 seat with Travis on my right, in seat 3.
Now, this coming weekend, we're having the Scotty Nguyen Challenge at our casino, a 5,000.00 buy-in tournament with 10,000.00 in starting chips and 60 minute blind rounds. Big time poker. Before we started playing, I told Travis I'll enter the super satellite to "The Scotty" (as we call it) if I won the 120.00 entry fee in the game we were in. If I don't win it, I won't enter. He has to work, so he can't enter.
We play for about 3 1/2 hours and have a great time. As usual, Travis starts feeling sorry for people. He's in a hand with this old guy in seat 1 who is hard of hearing. Despite the fact that the old coot is a manic raiser and is absolutely ruthless, I see Travis starting to go soft on Old One-Ear. The two of them are in a hand, the board comes:
Kh 7c 5s
Travis checks. Old One-Ear starts to reach for chips and Travis says: "You might want to think about checkin' there; if you bet I'll raise ya."
Ahhhh crap. Here he goes again.
"WHAT?" says One-Ear, cupping a hand to his right ear, "I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARIN', YOU KNOW".
"I KNOW", Travis replies, "I SAID, IF YOU BET, I'LL RAISE YOU!"
With a cackle that reveals several missing teeth, Old One-Ear fearlessly fires 18.00 into the pot (for reasons no one can fathom, he always bets or raises in increments of 18.00). Travis immediately raises him another 50.00. Old-One-Ear counts out the call, sets it to the side, then starts to stack the rest of his chips to push all in. Sure enough, here comes Travis:
"AY", he says, "YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANT TO DO THAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE POCKET KINGS. THAT'S ALL I'M WORRIED ABOUT RIGHT NOW."
"POCKET QUEENS???", says Old One-Ear, "WHAT ABOUT POCKET ACES; OR POCKET SEVENS, OR POCKET FIVES, OR ....."
"KINGS!!!!!" Travis hollers back "I SAID POCKET KINGS"
"OH, YOU HAVE POCKET KINGS?"
"NO, I SAID YOU DON'T WANT TO RAISE ME IF YOU DON'T HAVE POCKET KINGS!!!!!"
Jesus Christ! Everybody in the poker room is looking at our table now. The light bulb finally comes on over Old One-Ear's head, and he just calls as I sock Travis in the gut. The hand runs out with both of them checking it down. Travis turns up his pocket 7s (surprise! surprise!) and Old One-Ear turns up K5o, saying:
"I KNEW WHAT YOU HAD, BUT I WAS TRYIN' TO DRAW OUT ON YOU!"
Well, DUH! Travis rakes in the pot with a stupid, cow-like grin on his face as I give him a glare that'd melt solid steel. I'm up about 150.00 at this point, and, unbelievably, so is Travis. I figure it's time to get the hell out of there while we're ahead. We go and get something to eat. As we're eating, Travis' daughter calls, telling him she's home early. He decides he doesn't want her to be home alone, so he drops me back at the casino and skedaddles. I decide to go back in and play some more. Hell, I won over 150.00 in 3 1/2 hours, that means I should win 300.00 in 7 hours, right? Famous last words.
I end up back in the same seat at the same table, with a fresh 100.00 buy-in in front of me. Old One-Ear is still in seat 1, now with about 400.00 in front of him. If anything, he's more aggressive than ever. I decide to play tight and wait to catch him when I’ve got a big hand. While I wait, I tangle with the player in seat 9.
In our earlier session, I was in the big blind with 5 limpers (including the player in seat 9). I looked down and saw:
Ad Kd
I raised, making it 12.00, straight. Two players call, then it comes around to the player in seat 9, who re-raises to 75.00 straight! It folds back around to me. He’s a skinny guy with greasy hair and glasses and is wearing a cotton oxford shirt that was obviously pulled straight from the dryer. The only thing missing is a pocket protector. I later learn he’d left it in the car. I watch him carefully as I say:
"You want me to believe you limped a monster from late position with two limpers in front of you?"
I don't get a read, but decide 2:1 on my money isn't good enough when I don't hold a pair and don't have a good feel for how strong he is. I lay it down. He turns up a Queen, not showing the other card.
"Hell, he had pocket Queens!" said Travis. That perked Old One-Ear up:
"Collard Greens?" he asked, "Where do you get collard greens? I'm starvin!"
"I SAID, POCKET QUEENS!" yelled Travis, "HE HAD POCKET QUEENS!"
"That's playing pretty tight, Sonny", Old One-Ear says to me. "Hell, if I'd had pocket Queens there, I'da shoved 'em all into the middle".
I start to try to explain it, but decide to give up. "YOU'RE RIGHT, SIR, I MADE A PRETTY BIG MISTAKE THERE. THANKS FOR THE ADVICE."
He waves his hand to me and goes back to stacking his chips in increments of 18.00. I turn to Travis and, speaking softly so there's no way Old One-Ear can hear, say:
"No way he'd slow play a monster from there. He saw a raise and a lot of flat-callers and decided to steal it. Besides, if he'd had pocket Queens, I think he would've shown both of them, not one."
Travis disagrees and goes back to feeling sorry for players. Anyway, fast forward back to the present. I'm now on the button with three limpers in front (including the player in seat 9). I look down and see:
9s 9d
I raise to 12.00. Everyone folds but the player in seat 9, who calls. The flop comes:
2c 4d 7s
He checks. With an overpair, I decide to bet 20.00. Seat 9 quickly calls. The turn comes:
2c 4d 7s Kd
The player in seat 9 checks. I bet 25.00. He calls right away. The river comes:
2c 4d 7s Kd 2s
The player in seat 9 checks. I check, too. He turns up:
Ah Ac
Well, I guess Travis was right about those Queens. I go card dead for awhile and end up watching as Sammy Slowplay in seat 9 continues to slow play every big hand he gets, calling every bet down to the river. During that time, Old One-Ear goes raise-crazy, time and again pumping it up to 18.00. He's called down a number of times and shows some pretty weak starting hands. I don't think any of the other players are watching that carefully, though, as most of them continue to lay down to him, sometimes showing pretty strong holdings as they do so. I soon find myself in the big blind with 4 limpers in front, including Sammy Slowplay, and Old One-Ear. What the hell, no 18.00 raise? I look down and see:
Jh 7h
I check. The flop comes:
Js 7s 3h
With Old One-Ear in the hand, I can be pretty sure he'll bet; he ALWAYS bets if he senses weakness, so I check it. Before it gets around to One-Ear, though, Sammy Slowplay bets 10.00. What????? Sammy Slowplay never bets, he calls! It folds around to me. I honestly can't put him on a hand. He's liable to limp ANYTHING in preflop. I decide to find out where I am in the hand and make it 30.00. He pushes all-in for another 15.00. With 85.00 in the pot, I have to call. We turn up our hands. He shows:
Ac Jc
Three guesses what comes on the river. Sigh ...... I'm now down to 20.00. "Chips!"
Not long thereafter, Old One-Ear goes raise crazy again, popping it up to 18.00 more hands than not. I've had to lay down a number of hands that I really would've liked to have seen flops with, and I've had enough. I'm in the cutoff, and Old One-Ear raises to 18.00. I look down and see:
As 8s
The dead man's hand! Not worth a raise here, but I'm tired of laying down. I pump it up another 50.00. Old One-Ear thinks about it awhile, then ruefully lays it down! Not only that, but he stops raising for quite awhile. I am my hero!
4 or 5 hands later, I'm in early position and squeeze off:
Js Td
Despite my first impulse to play intelligent poker, I decide to see if I can limp it in; there hasn’t been a lot of raising lately. It folds around to One-Ear, who is in the big blind. He checks. CHECKS?! I think he's a little afraid of me! The flop comes:
Kh Qh 6c
Old One Ear fires out (you guessed it) 18.00.
"Sir," I say, "You realize you're betting 18.00 into a 5.00 pot?"
"WHAT?" says Old One-Ear as he cups a hand to his ear, "I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING, YOU KNOW."
Ahhhh, screw it. That old fart is bluffing! I raise him another 50 bucks. As soon as I do, I know I've made a huge mistake. While I have an open-ended straight draw, If I miss it on the turn, I only have 55.00 left; not enough to push him off the hand. The move there was to fold or shove all-in. I decide to give it up if I don't make the straight on the turn. The turn comes:
Kh Qh 6c Ts
Crap, that's the worst card possible for me if I want to get away from this hand. Now I have even more outs. I may even have the best hand! One-Ear checks it to me. Ahhh, what the hell (The worst thing to say while in a poker hand. Anytime you say "Ahhhh, what the hell", you can pretty much bet bet whatever you do next is gonna be a BIG mistake). Anyway, Ahhhh, what the hell. I push ‘em all-in. He immediately calls. The river comes a blank. I turn my cards up; he shows:
Kc 7h
"Nice hand", I say, as I slink away from the table. I call Travis while I'm on the way home and tell him about it.
"Well", he says, "I guess you won't be playing in the Super Satellite, then."
"What do you mean? I won the entry fee, I'm in."
"Yeah", says Travis, "But you just lost 200.00. You only won 150, so you're down 50 bucks."
"Listen, Mr. Dumbass, I didn't say anything about losing, I only said about winning, and I did; so shut your pie hole and quit burning up all my rollover minutes."
I gotta hop in the shower now. The super satellite starts in less than two hours, and my winnings are burning a hole in my pocket.
posted by Sean at 1:03 PM
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